datahawk: (Default)
DataHawk ([personal profile] datahawk) wrote2009-04-12 10:56 pm

Open wound

I thought I'd begun to heal. I thought the pain had started to subside. Instead, I'm reminded that the wound is still there. The pain at the loss of a friend who will no longer be there. The reminder that someone made a very tragic mistake, taking a life and destroying his own. I may forgive him one day, that day will not be any time soon.

[identity profile] fuzzbear.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.

::HUGS::


Call me if you need to, anytime

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you hon, I appreciate that. I don't like feeling or being weak, but I constantly feel at a loss with this situation.

[identity profile] fuzzbear.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
You are one of the Strongest people I know.
It's perfectly natural to feel that way right now because you are helpless to change anything that has happened.

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 01:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you hon, that means a lot.

I'm just not used to being one of those people that dwell, or can't get over something.

[identity profile] fuzzbear.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 01:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Im the same way... it took me almost a year to get over the death of my Friend Rick... hell I think i kept the email that I got from his partner when he told me he passed away.. for a couple years after he died.

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I kept the text messages I have from him Windy con weekend (the weekend before MFF)
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks. *hug*

[identity profile] jeshala.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
I was thinkin' about you today and wondering how you were holding up. I had to break the news to my cousin who used to work with him about what happened and it hit him pretty bad and opened my wounds up too again.

*hugs*

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Aww hon, that's sweet, but don't worry about me. I'll be fine, can't you tell from my post. :P *hug* But thanks for the thoughts, they mean a lot to me.

But the real question, how are you holding up?

[identity profile] jeshala.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Pretty okay. Touch and go. Needs moar social life.

[identity profile] salexa.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 08:37 am (UTC)(link)
The wound will be there for a very long time to come. It will get better over time, but it will always ache at least a little bit.

When you can, work on forgiveness for the driver (but never forget). This is not for the benefit of that driver that wrecked far more than 2 lives, but for yourself to be able to move on and live the kind of life that would honor your friend.

.*hug*

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I know I can and will forgive this man one day, I'm just not ready for it yet. When it was still possible that it was just a very traggic accident, I was having a better time dealing with it. Knowing this guy made this traggic mistake that took a life and ruined his own... just much harder to forgive as quickly. Pat would have wanted it, wouldn't have wanted us to hate this guy...

[identity profile] snow-kitty.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
This really sucks. Knowing that it was just a tragic accident sort of helped with the healing process. Now with the current news, it just sliced right through again. :/

*hugs*

[identity profile] datahawk.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm completely understand, I was exactly there with you. When the likihood of being drunk got less and less, I had an easier time just working through it. But...just so many bad calls on this guys part. One day, one day I will forgive. Not today, just not today. *hug*