DW is seeing some issues due to today's Amazon outage. For right now it looks like the site is loading, but it may be slow. Some of our processes like notifications and journal search don't appear to be running and can't be started due to rate limiting or capacity issues. DW could go down later if Amazon isn't able to improve things soon, but our services should return to normal when Amazon has cleared up the outage.
Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.
Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.
Anyone else think the Halloween cakes are getting kinda handsy this year?
No, no. I mean, it seems like the designs are getting a lot...fresher.
"GOOSE!"
For example, some people might think these "pumpkins" represent huge...tracts of land:
Others might think it's a little chilly in here.
Hey, sure, bakers, just stick that candy corn anywhere:
I'd say the bat was a nice touch, but I think the ghost might disagree.
And when it comes to pumpkin cookies, this bakery offers up some stiff competition:
I'm surprised that they'd erect such a dinky display.
And while that might seem like a hard act to follow, it turns out there's more than one bakery trying to get ahead:
Psst. Bakers. Here's a tip.
Also, I think your problem stems from a cockeyed decorator with a testy disposition getting a good-natured ribbing from the bakery staff.
Ben, Kristen Z., Bevin C., Petra R., Zack J., and Sara W., these cakes salute you.
Sorry about that.
*****
P.S. You know how everyone is decorating with these cute wall bats for spooky season?
Well I found them on Amazon! They're re-usable PVC - so weatherproof - and cost less than $10 for a pack of 56. While you're there I highly recommend scrolling the customer image gallery, too, for cute decorating ideas like this.
We all have a favorite Tim Burton movie, be it Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Beetlejuice, or Alice in Wonderland. (No one's favorite is Planet of the Apes. FACT.) So to gear up for Halloween, let's check out some ghoulishly gorgeous Burton-inspired Sweets.
How about we start with a little visit to Halloweentown?
Every aspect of this cake represents the magic of the film: the ice sculpture, animal topiaries, brightly-colored houses, the hill to Edward's house, and of course... Edward's house!
Absolutely delightful.
Now, for the ghost with the most, for some laughter from the hereafter, for the slave to the grave... Get ready, because IT'S SHOWTIME!
Oh, and in all the research I did for this post, I found NO cakes for Frankenweenie or Mars Attacks! I do believe I've just given you your next mission, bakers. Hop to.
Judging by the pile behind it, I guess we have to assume that's "Poop in Peace."
(Which, come to think of it, is probably what every parent of a two to six-year-old dreams of doing.)
Jack O' Lanterns:
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
Sperm Bullies:
YOU PRETTY MUCH NAILED IT.
I can't decide if these two are hanging garland or just have massive orthodontist bills:
Boo? Boo?!YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Thank you.
Thanks to Porter N., Rane L., Katya H., Lisa S., Laura W., & Destiny G., who think that last one is pretty yracs.
******
P.S. You know how everyone is decorating with these cute wall bats for spooky season?
Well I found them on Amazon! They're re-usable PVC - so weatherproof - and cost less than $10 for a pack of 56. While you're there I highly recommend scrolling the customer image gallery, too, for cute decorating ideas like this.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, bakers, which means it's time to slap pink icing ribbons on everything, including last month's leftover cookies:
Pro Tip: When licking icing off your display cookies, try to be more thorough. Otherwise people might start asking questions.
It also means that every October birthday is no longer just a birthday:
It's a "Flappy Beiast Awaranistsy" Birthday!
Plus, what better time is there to break out the ol' "Ring o' Stomachs" icing border?
NO TIME, that's when.
Of course, since even the simple ribbon loop is beyond many bakers' skill set, you might want to cheat a bit by using candy molds:
Pro Tip: these also work great for bachelorette parties.
Or maybe stick to a single ribbon and just one misspelled word:
G, I admire your restraint.
Or how about a simple, inspiring inscription? You know, something about hope, and strength, and working towards a cure?
Or a confusingly depressing sentiment that makes less and less sense the more you think about it?
Because when I remember a painful loss, the first thing I want to do - I mean, AFTER celebrating the fact that I just remembered my painful loss - is eat a giant cookie cake.
[sigh]
Tell you what, bakers, maybe we should just go back to the ribbons.
Perfect.
Thanks to Sarah A., Gia E., Crystal A., Jen P., Anony M., Michelle T., & Leslie P. for keeping us abreast of the situation. TTFN, ladies!
*****
P.S. Want to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness in the spirit of the spooky season? Then allow me to present the greatest October t-shirt of all time:
Allow me to present a mini educational series on the "wonders" of punctuation.
[Cue the cheesy music!]
Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Now remember, boys and girls: Punctuation can be a scary thing, but skipping it all together is never the answer.
Unless you want to command everyone to love their "senoirs."
On the other hand, filling your cake with the wrong punctuation isn't the answer, either.
Ah, a classic case of WTH: "Where's the H?"
Fortunately, punctuation allows us to add an appropriate level of enthusiasm to our greetings:
Pass the tissues. I think Linda is having a moment.
...not to mention convey our "sincerity":
And we mean that, Elizabeth. Like, soooo much.
(Btw, bonus points for the random asterisk. I assume the footnote came on a cupcake? That said, "Not really"?)
Of course, it is possible to go overboard from time to time:
Not to mention that pesky "you're" business.
Yep. Pesky.
And will someone please explain this?
Parentheses? Really? Look, bakers, I'm pretty sure no one has ever - EVER - ordered parentheses on a cake, so why would you even consider...
Ok, so ONE person ordered parentheses on a cake.
That just means you're both wrong.
"Congratulations."
Thanks to Andrea M., Anne G., Anna S., Linda J., Margaret J., Lisa, Kayla H., Debb D., & Bunny B., who I hear enjoy cooking their dogs and their families. So let's eat guys!
*****
P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound - and all without ever leaving the table - it's SUPER CAKES!
Superman looks like he just flew right out of the comic-book; he's so artfully shaded! (And take note, icing purists; he's also completely fondant-free!)
"Did somebody say 3D? Make that 4D, because I QUADRUPLE DOMINATE you, Ironman! I am A) the leader of an alien robot race, B) rocking a body transformed from a friggin' semi-truck, and C) made of 100% edible deliciousness that is D) sculpted into a free-standing 3D-cake man-machine!!
"Plus, look at my cute lil' wipers!"
Don't worry; Optimus Prime is only joking. Superheroes don't really fight amongst themselves! In fact, they're far more likely to work together for the common good/deliciousness:
Yes, superheroes are united in their quest to protect and serve mankind. And also to look fabulous in a retro cookie-pop bouquet while doing so. Love those graphics!
I think my favorite thing about this cake - aside from the insanely detailed Incredible family with their tiny little Incredible phone - is that this was for a 30-year-old man's birthday. Way to stay young at heart, my friend!
That's all for now! Have a SUPER day, everyone!
*****
P.S. Here's a sweet gift for the superhero in your life - or to remind yourself that you're one:
"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"
"Let's find out!"
Firth of all... I really like saying "firth."
Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:
So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."
(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)
And thirthly...
Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:
And thirthly...
(Resolve...weakening...)
And THIRTHLY...
They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.
They're right.
Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:
And thirthly:
Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.
But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!
Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.
Aaand now you're just showing off.
In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."
Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.
*****
P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:
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